Oh, Lord, give me the words. Help me express the things you're teaching me. May the words flow in a way that is clear.
I know or have spoken to some famous and/or powerful people. There. I said it. Brushes with greatness as they say. I've had them. I like them and yes, I'm fairly enamored by them. Please don't judge me for being honest about it.
I'm questioning it, though. Judging myself. Trying to understand why I'm impressed by the perception of power. I know none of those folks are going to tap my shoulder and say, "Come. Let me make you famous and help you get lots of money." Truth be told, I don't want that really. (well, not always) Increasingly, I think what I want is a platform. I have to check my motives here and be sure that I'm being honest about that. I remember craving some type of fame, some type of notoriety... for what I don't know, I have nothing particular to offer - no remarkable talent, skill or wisdom ... I used to want people to be impressed by my singing and want me to make albums. I remember that. In my youth. But now... no. I'd do it, but I don't crave it or dream about it. Still... I am impressed by celebrity... kind of... I think...
2 years ago I volunteered for a position of no prestige. I was serving at a big event. The big event was being led by a family member and I was asked (by someone totally outside the family) to man a section near the stage because "they needed someone who wouldn't be starstruck". I remember saying "Don't be mistaken. I'm still star struck."
Still thinking here. Pondering. Searching for the words. What do you need to know? What do you need to think about? What do I need to say?
Sunday, a woman approached me. She spoke to me about my business and another woman in my business. Upon hearing my name, the other woman said "She's not anybody. I'd know if she was." Peeved. That's me. Peeved. But the thing is, I am most certainly "not anybody". No one whose name you'd know. Just a girl. Next door. Selling cosmetics. Going to church. Normal.. Not a world changer.
Now, one more story for the foundation I'm building for my actual point. Yesterday, our famous family member was honored with the invitation to deliver the prayer at the Presidential Inauguration. Not at the Lions' Club or Rotary Club, but of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. Yeah. That inauguration.
I'm closer. Narrowing in. Focusing. The words are coming.
HE IS A NOBODY, TOO. Was. Wants to be. Has spent his whole life in ministry seeking ONE THING: To make the name of Jesus known and to lose his own and now his own is known. How. Do. You. Process. That. ?
I lay awake on my bed thinking on it. Listening for the still small voice. I've been listening for a few days leading up to all of this. One thing is becoming more and more clear: All of the "somebody"s were once nobody's. They were normal everyday guys who took one step and then another and made great discoveries. Steve Jobs - a 10 year old who got into computers. Mary Kay Ash - a retired woman who was sick of women not being treated fairly in the workplace. A 3 Star General in my family - a boy from a little town in North Carolina who later served as Multinational Corps Commander in Iraq. The founder of a ministry that fights against sex trafficking - a middleaged woman in a normal church. Beth Moore - an Army brat, I believe.
My brain, stirred in the middle of the night - World changers started somewhere - not seeking fame or fortune, but doing the small things they were called to do in their area of influence, in faith, leaning on God, in His power eventually being used for God's "immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine". Moses. Paul. Rahab. David. Peter. A guy in our family who loves Jesus - steps out with one clear mission: to raise up a faceless generation for the reknown of Christ, with a vision for seeing 1000's of collegiate-age kids praising the name of Jesus, believing a large gathering of Christians should impact their local community and work together to do something bigger than one can do alone...
How do I say it? What are you hearing?
Here is where I want to get: WE CAN BE THE CHANGE. As one individual, we may not have much influence, but using what we have, joining forces with others around us, we can each individually and certainly corporately can make a difference. How? Well, when 5000 were gathered together and hungry, a boy gave some loaves and fishes. Combined with Jesus' power that small offering fed 5000 with 12 basketfuls leftover. A woman gave her last 2 cents - It was considered more valuable than larger contributions. David, considered "not anybody" took down a mighty opponent with a stone and a slingshot, "with what he had in his hand" (Beth Redman).
What is in your hand? What can you influence? What would Jesus partner with you to change? A (sorry, Louie) scrawny boy from Atlanta GA whose claim to fame could be that his dad designed the Chick Fil A logo, my husband's first cousin, whose chosen passion and vocation seeks to hide his own name and offer up, unashamed, the name of Jesus is being noticed for bringing together a band of activists and a bunch (!) of college kids to raise awareness and even seek to end slavery in our world today and as such, has garnered the attention of the President of the United States and will now be praying over our entire nation before so very many people. He's been given one of the largest stages to be the voice for 27,000,000 slaves. And he was just a normal guy - like you. like me. "not anybody"
I want to be a nobody like that - not for myself (Lord, please may that be true) - but to change one small but ever-growing circle. What's in my hand?
Nothing to Say, But Can't Shut Up - haha! That's what I thought I should call my blog! What I write here might not mean a thing to you and I'm pretty o.k. with that. However, I have an active mind and like to sort things out out loud, so to speak. I also like to have deep conversations so feel free to jump in and comment. I'm glad you showed up and took the time to read. Welcome!