- I can't hear the deer scooting through the woods from my cushy chair in the air conditioning.
- A little tiny lizard will move really fast to get out of my way.
- Sometimes a little breather will give you just enough umph to press on.
- Sucking in the gut (or core, to be trendy) helps.
- I hate the water bottle I took along.
- Better to walk a hill (or crawl up a mountain) than stand in the valley and never see the view.
- I LIKE biking!
- The downhills here are heavenly.
- The uphills here ... make the downhills heavenly.
- I wish Patrick and come over and gone with me.
- I should've called Patrick!
- I ride over a ridge on my "little" bike ride.
- I CAN STILL RIDE 9 MILES!
- At the end of my ride I was finishing hills in gears that I used to reserve for downhill only. : D
- I can't believe I put this off so long!
- I can't wait to jump in that lake even if the water is hot!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Random Thoughts from My Bike Ride
I've put off hard core exercise for a few weeks now. I had some good reasons to begin with but before long it just turned into something I dreaded. So - with a little motivation from my nephew, Patrick, I decided this was the day to GO! It's a cloudy day, so it finally seemed like the time to get on my trusty, non-fancy, given-to-me, LL Bean bike and see how far I could make it after goofing off for a few weeks. I hoped for 4 or 5 decent miles. I made it about 9. SWEET! As I rode, some of the following came to mind:
Monday, August 1, 2011
1st Born Gets Married
It's been 9 days. Nine days since my first-born married his true love. Never really saw this far forward.
I was almost 26 when this child came into my life. Like other moms - birth and adoptive, I clearly remember the day I became a mom. I remember the waiting, the longing, the being ready for the next phase of my life. I was made to be a mother. I craved it in my very being. I'm so thankful God allowed it for I know that not all those who crave receive.
I had been to the hospital twice in false labor that week. About midnight on Feb 26th, I got up from bed to head to the bathroom when my water broke. I woke my husband to tell him, "It's time" only to hear, "Why don't you go on to the hospital [we were only a block away] and call if it's the real deal?". Oh my! The joys of a pilot on early week. WE went to the hospital and the next day I received a bundle in my arms that changed my life. I named him Andrew Michael. He was 9lbs 4oz and so very easy in every way.
Throughout his life, we've marveled at his easy going demeanor. He's a peaceful sort. He's so very smart and good looking, too. He loves Jesus. He loves his family. He loves steaks, ribs, and salmon. He hates most nuts. He's a great water-skier. He's good at noticing little details the rest of us miss.
And now.. he's married. He's joined himself to a beautiful young woman named Kelsi. They only have eyes for each other. I think each of them makes the other feel incredibly special and they each act as if they don't deserve the other one.
The wedding day was awesome. They chose to have a quiet, family-only type of wedding. We went to Tybee Island GA and were blessed with a breeze. Their ceremony clearly recognized Jesus Christ as Lord and focused on His love for His bride the church. They chose a vow to maintain a Christ-centered home. They didn't even notice the rest of us there. Afterwards, my daughter noted, "This is the way a wedding should be." I agree.
I feel no loss. Only joy. Joy at the enlargement of our family. Joy for my son having more family to support and love him. Joy for the years to come. Joy for my hope of grandchildren should God bless in that way. Joy for raising a child that chose such a spiritually beautiful woman. Joy for the hope of a forever-lasting marriage that would bring them the kind of joy my marriage brings me.
I pray God's bountiful blessing upon these two young people. May they live out Ephesians 5 and may God be glorified in their lives.
I was almost 26 when this child came into my life. Like other moms - birth and adoptive, I clearly remember the day I became a mom. I remember the waiting, the longing, the being ready for the next phase of my life. I was made to be a mother. I craved it in my very being. I'm so thankful God allowed it for I know that not all those who crave receive.
I had been to the hospital twice in false labor that week. About midnight on Feb 26th, I got up from bed to head to the bathroom when my water broke. I woke my husband to tell him, "It's time" only to hear, "Why don't you go on to the hospital [we were only a block away] and call if it's the real deal?". Oh my! The joys of a pilot on early week. WE went to the hospital and the next day I received a bundle in my arms that changed my life. I named him Andrew Michael. He was 9lbs 4oz and so very easy in every way.
Throughout his life, we've marveled at his easy going demeanor. He's a peaceful sort. He's so very smart and good looking, too. He loves Jesus. He loves his family. He loves steaks, ribs, and salmon. He hates most nuts. He's a great water-skier. He's good at noticing little details the rest of us miss.
And now.. he's married. He's joined himself to a beautiful young woman named Kelsi. They only have eyes for each other. I think each of them makes the other feel incredibly special and they each act as if they don't deserve the other one.
The wedding day was awesome. They chose to have a quiet, family-only type of wedding. We went to Tybee Island GA and were blessed with a breeze. Their ceremony clearly recognized Jesus Christ as Lord and focused on His love for His bride the church. They chose a vow to maintain a Christ-centered home. They didn't even notice the rest of us there. Afterwards, my daughter noted, "This is the way a wedding should be." I agree.
I feel no loss. Only joy. Joy at the enlargement of our family. Joy for my son having more family to support and love him. Joy for the years to come. Joy for my hope of grandchildren should God bless in that way. Joy for raising a child that chose such a spiritually beautiful woman. Joy for the hope of a forever-lasting marriage that would bring them the kind of joy my marriage brings me.
I pray God's bountiful blessing upon these two young people. May they live out Ephesians 5 and may God be glorified in their lives.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
In the Valleys
It won't be news to you that we all have valleys that we must walk through. I'm sure you've had yours and I've certainly had mine. I've been contemplating this bit of reality for some time - months actually - turning it over in my mind, praying over it and reading about what others think of it. I am still forming my thoughts and opinions but feel ready to talk to you all about my findings so far...
My real examination of this topic began with reading 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp (one of the best reads of my life). The book centers around the word and action: eucharisteo - basically the giving of thanks. The author begins to pursue greater joy by recording 1000 things for which she's thankful. She considers the small things of life - curtains blowing in a breeze - a bubble from the sink . . . and learns to have a greater joy in the Lord by this simple act: eucharisteo. She also experiences greater intimacy.
Oh how she challenged me! When I began the book I was beginning my own walk through a valley. Sometimes I felt so fearful and other times so sad. I kept looking up, but saw no end to this lonely place. It wasn't all doom and gloom to be sure, but some days it felt that way. I'm speaking as though it's all behind me, but it isn't. Some days I'm still aware that I'm in the valley. However, in a parallel to the book, God began speaking to me. He reminded me that we are to give thanks in all things - ALL - and by prayer and supplication, with THANKSGIVING, make our requests known to God. (Phil 4) And do you know what the Bible says happens next, the result of our thanksgiving? It says that we gain the peace that passes all understanding.
Now I don't know about you, but when I am in a valley, one of the things that really gnaws at me is fear - fear that this thing won't end, fear that something worse is going to get me.
Side story: When we lived in Germany, we lived in a valley. I could leave my little village by a road at the back of it and walk right into the woods and right through that valley. It was peaceful and quiet, with meadows and a stream, sheep, donkeys, falcons on the hunt, blackberries to pick - beautiful. However, there were wood all around and here and there the path ran through a thicket that was dark with trees towering over me. The first few times I walked through there, I was plain old skeered. I didn't know what lurked in there and I turned around and went home, heart beating faster. NOW - each time I walked that path, I got a little braver and went further. Finally, I walked all the way through the thicket and truth be told, there was so much more to enjoy on the other side. It was better than just turning around and missing it.
You can probably see where this is headed. Valleys are intense and can be dark. They can be long. But, if we stop and look around, there is beauty there. This is what I'm learning. There's more, but this is it's own teaching. When things were looking dark and dreary and I felt afraid, I began to hear God's voice reminding me to give thanks, then I'd sit and read 1000 Gifts and see it in action before my very eyes and I started practicing it myself. "Lord, thank you for this beautiful lake view, sunset, my husband, having my kids home, time to think, ..." Over and over, God corrected my negative thinking with something to be thankful for in the midst of my valley.
Let's go back to Germany for a moment. Every now and then I'd decide I was bored in my valley. I'd think about hiking to one of the higher points around me. There was a windmill up on one of the points and farm fields. It looked enticing. I'd find a path and start the walk. Do you know that's when it got hard? Walking in the valley was a breeze, flat and easy, piece of cake. Walking up the mountain, not so much. I was really in the woods, couldn't see much, just had to put one foot in front of the other. Not only that, it was exhausting. The climb was hard. The path wasn't well traveled (unlike the valley path) and it was fairly dark. But do you know why I did it? To get to the top. To have the view. To get the big honkin' blackberries. Totally worth the trip.
This moment, as I write, I'm asking myself a question: Am I in a valley or on my way to a mountaintop? All I can say is, "wow". Wow.
Here are some things I've come across in the past few months that might be valuable in your own walk. They've certainly been valuable to me.
My real examination of this topic began with reading 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp (one of the best reads of my life). The book centers around the word and action: eucharisteo - basically the giving of thanks. The author begins to pursue greater joy by recording 1000 things for which she's thankful. She considers the small things of life - curtains blowing in a breeze - a bubble from the sink . . . and learns to have a greater joy in the Lord by this simple act: eucharisteo. She also experiences greater intimacy.
Oh how she challenged me! When I began the book I was beginning my own walk through a valley. Sometimes I felt so fearful and other times so sad. I kept looking up, but saw no end to this lonely place. It wasn't all doom and gloom to be sure, but some days it felt that way. I'm speaking as though it's all behind me, but it isn't. Some days I'm still aware that I'm in the valley. However, in a parallel to the book, God began speaking to me. He reminded me that we are to give thanks in all things - ALL - and by prayer and supplication, with THANKSGIVING, make our requests known to God. (Phil 4) And do you know what the Bible says happens next, the result of our thanksgiving? It says that we gain the peace that passes all understanding.
Now I don't know about you, but when I am in a valley, one of the things that really gnaws at me is fear - fear that this thing won't end, fear that something worse is going to get me.
Side story: When we lived in Germany, we lived in a valley. I could leave my little village by a road at the back of it and walk right into the woods and right through that valley. It was peaceful and quiet, with meadows and a stream, sheep, donkeys, falcons on the hunt, blackberries to pick - beautiful. However, there were wood all around and here and there the path ran through a thicket that was dark with trees towering over me. The first few times I walked through there, I was plain old skeered. I didn't know what lurked in there and I turned around and went home, heart beating faster. NOW - each time I walked that path, I got a little braver and went further. Finally, I walked all the way through the thicket and truth be told, there was so much more to enjoy on the other side. It was better than just turning around and missing it.
You can probably see where this is headed. Valleys are intense and can be dark. They can be long. But, if we stop and look around, there is beauty there. This is what I'm learning. There's more, but this is it's own teaching. When things were looking dark and dreary and I felt afraid, I began to hear God's voice reminding me to give thanks, then I'd sit and read 1000 Gifts and see it in action before my very eyes and I started practicing it myself. "Lord, thank you for this beautiful lake view, sunset, my husband, having my kids home, time to think, ..." Over and over, God corrected my negative thinking with something to be thankful for in the midst of my valley.
Let's go back to Germany for a moment. Every now and then I'd decide I was bored in my valley. I'd think about hiking to one of the higher points around me. There was a windmill up on one of the points and farm fields. It looked enticing. I'd find a path and start the walk. Do you know that's when it got hard? Walking in the valley was a breeze, flat and easy, piece of cake. Walking up the mountain, not so much. I was really in the woods, couldn't see much, just had to put one foot in front of the other. Not only that, it was exhausting. The climb was hard. The path wasn't well traveled (unlike the valley path) and it was fairly dark. But do you know why I did it? To get to the top. To have the view. To get the big honkin' blackberries. Totally worth the trip.
This moment, as I write, I'm asking myself a question: Am I in a valley or on my way to a mountaintop? All I can say is, "wow". Wow.
Here are some things I've come across in the past few months that might be valuable in your own walk. They've certainly been valuable to me.
- Our hard times are not God punishing us for sin. The payment for sin is death. (Could be consequences or discipline, but it's not punishment)
- We must learn to give thanks not only IN all things, but FOR all things for Romans 8:28 teaches that God works ALL things for good...
- Ann Voskamp "That which I refuse to thank Christ for -- I refuse to believe Christ can redeem?"
- Thinking I must not resist the pruning that might bring new, stronger growth.
- Job 2:10 "Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?" God just keeps teaching me!
- Why give thanks in moments of/for despair? It is then we are most likely to fix our eyes on Christ.
- I must not resist the pruning that might bring new, stronger growth.
- "Jesus has a time, He has a plan, He is on schedule... God is on the case!" Louie Giglio
- God is still God and by the way, He doesn't owe us an explanation. That last part is from Andy Stanley.
- Wouldn't you walk a treacherous path to see the glory and majest of God? To know Him more?
You can find me on Twitter. @steph_redmond
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Better than Ever!
Just some thoughts . . .
I began searching for my best life in Jan 2007. I was 46 years old and very much wanted to face my 50th birthday fit and healthy (and thinner - ok - I wanted to actually BE thin). The first year was really easy for me overall. I'm not saying I didn't have challenges, I did, but I was able to overcome them and consistently lose 5 lbs per month and steadily increase my fitness ability. The next 3 years were more challenging. We moved to Germany as you know, I went back to work after 20 years and I endured several injuries. However, I still kept pursuing my best life and enjoyed many wonderful moments along the way.
Yesterday I turned 50. I'm not actually THIN, but I am fit and healthy. I decided this year my gift to myself is a greater, more intense pursuit of this healthy lifestyle. I have 2 sprint triathlons on my agenda as well as 2- 1/2 marathons. I chose to celebrate my 50th by doing my regular training program. First I biked 9 miles in the heat on some very steep hills (my ride goes over the tail end of the Pine Mountain Ridge) and then came home and hit the water for 1/4 mile of swimming. Whew! (it was fun!) Later that evening, I paddled the kayak for about a mile - just for fun.
When it came to birthday eating, although I had planned to eat as I wanted, I found that what I really wanted was to eat healthfully. I'm so satisfied in my life that I really don't want or need food to make me happy. This is pretty new for me. I indulged in french toast (white bread cause it's what dh brought home) loaded w/ over a cup of blueberries to carb up for my exercise. The rest of the day was healthy controlled eating. At dinner I'd planned fried lobster tail but really decided it wasn't worth it. I had grilled fish instead w/ green beans and sweet potato fries (which were actually fried). I ordered key lime pie for dessert and shared it w/ dh. PERFECT. I came home happy and satisfied but not overfull and guilty. What a day!
It was late in the evening before I realized that I'd met my goal of long ago. I'd stuck w/ Best Life living for over 4 years, never wanting my old ways back, and found the joy of attaining what I'd only hoped for in 2007 - a healthy lifestyle that marked a genuine change not just a temporary diet. I'm stronger than I've been since my 20's I'd say and certainly more joy-filled. I eagerly look forward to my next birthday to see where I am then!
(Copied from my post on www.thebestlife.com - a weight loss website based on Bob Greene's healthy lifestyle books)
I began searching for my best life in Jan 2007. I was 46 years old and very much wanted to face my 50th birthday fit and healthy (and thinner - ok - I wanted to actually BE thin). The first year was really easy for me overall. I'm not saying I didn't have challenges, I did, but I was able to overcome them and consistently lose 5 lbs per month and steadily increase my fitness ability. The next 3 years were more challenging. We moved to Germany as you know, I went back to work after 20 years and I endured several injuries. However, I still kept pursuing my best life and enjoyed many wonderful moments along the way.
Yesterday I turned 50. I'm not actually THIN, but I am fit and healthy. I decided this year my gift to myself is a greater, more intense pursuit of this healthy lifestyle. I have 2 sprint triathlons on my agenda as well as 2- 1/2 marathons. I chose to celebrate my 50th by doing my regular training program. First I biked 9 miles in the heat on some very steep hills (my ride goes over the tail end of the Pine Mountain Ridge) and then came home and hit the water for 1/4 mile of swimming. Whew! (it was fun!) Later that evening, I paddled the kayak for about a mile - just for fun.
When it came to birthday eating, although I had planned to eat as I wanted, I found that what I really wanted was to eat healthfully. I'm so satisfied in my life that I really don't want or need food to make me happy. This is pretty new for me. I indulged in french toast (white bread cause it's what dh brought home) loaded w/ over a cup of blueberries to carb up for my exercise. The rest of the day was healthy controlled eating. At dinner I'd planned fried lobster tail but really decided it wasn't worth it. I had grilled fish instead w/ green beans and sweet potato fries (which were actually fried). I ordered key lime pie for dessert and shared it w/ dh. PERFECT. I came home happy and satisfied but not overfull and guilty. What a day!
It was late in the evening before I realized that I'd met my goal of long ago. I'd stuck w/ Best Life living for over 4 years, never wanting my old ways back, and found the joy of attaining what I'd only hoped for in 2007 - a healthy lifestyle that marked a genuine change not just a temporary diet. I'm stronger than I've been since my 20's I'd say and certainly more joy-filled. I eagerly look forward to my next birthday to see where I am then!
(Copied from my post on www.thebestlife.com - a weight loss website based on Bob Greene's healthy lifestyle books)
Sunday, May 1, 2011
A Shout Out of Thanks
Sometimes in life you come across people who give of themselves in unusual ways. They may have to due to the demands of their job to some extent but then of their own decision go above and beyond. Sometimes they're not properly compensated or rewarded or even thanked for this effort (and to some extent that's o.k. because we want to encourage each other to do things for others expecting nothing in return). This week, I had the wonderful privilege of meeting 3 women who had a professional attachment to an event but truly went above and beyond. I want to thank them.
Many of you know that I am part of an online weight loss community, www.thebestlife.com , and have been for 4+ years. Through this site I've met men and women from around the country and beyond who walk my journey with me. They're special folks. This week we gathered in Chicago to spend time together socializing and encouraging each other as we work toward our goals. Because we asked for it and because they're cool like that, we had on hand, 3 top level experts that work for Bob Greene on his website: Janis Jibrin, Michelle Kennedy and Jen Martin. (You can learn more about them at the website listed above.)
Now hear me because this is kind of unheard of: They showed up at our event for 4 days, making themselves widely available to us, were way underused for the talent they brought, listened patiently, kindly and helpfully to all of our stories, aches, pains and complaints - inserted their expertise wherever they could and we as a group payed them NOTHING. I have no idea how they were compensated from their boss, but you just don't get access to people of this caliber without paying up the big bucks. In addition, we were treated to a cooking class at a top notch facility in Chicago and were graced not only with Janice Jibrin, but also Best Life and top D.C. chef, Sidra Forman. All of this was done for 30 men and women who payed a small registration fee of $25 and that money did not even go to The Best Life.
Can you believe it? Not only that, we were given tickets to a very famous show and received public acknowledgement for our weight loss on national t.v. and won a very cool prize. (You might make sure to set your dvr on May 10.) Afterwards, we had a 2 HOUR private session with Bob Greene, and we didn't pay him diddly! 2 HOURS! (In case you need a little more of a hint: It's the much anticipated Weight Loss Finale of a very famous talk show that is in it's last season and is filmed in Chicago. *wink*)
I'm so impressed with the generosity of spirit and time that was bestowed upon us, let alone expertise. We didn't deserve it. We probably took advantage of them and we dang sure didn't pay them. These people all of them, but particularly the 3 I mentioned early on, at the very least deserve a public thanks.
THANK YOU, JANIS, MICHELLE AND JEN. YOU ROCK!!!
Many of you know that I am part of an online weight loss community, www.thebestlife.com , and have been for 4+ years. Through this site I've met men and women from around the country and beyond who walk my journey with me. They're special folks. This week we gathered in Chicago to spend time together socializing and encouraging each other as we work toward our goals. Because we asked for it and because they're cool like that, we had on hand, 3 top level experts that work for Bob Greene on his website: Janis Jibrin, Michelle Kennedy and Jen Martin. (You can learn more about them at the website listed above.)
Now hear me because this is kind of unheard of: They showed up at our event for 4 days, making themselves widely available to us, were way underused for the talent they brought, listened patiently, kindly and helpfully to all of our stories, aches, pains and complaints - inserted their expertise wherever they could and we as a group payed them NOTHING. I have no idea how they were compensated from their boss, but you just don't get access to people of this caliber without paying up the big bucks. In addition, we were treated to a cooking class at a top notch facility in Chicago and were graced not only with Janice Jibrin, but also Best Life and top D.C. chef, Sidra Forman. All of this was done for 30 men and women who payed a small registration fee of $25 and that money did not even go to The Best Life.
Can you believe it? Not only that, we were given tickets to a very famous show and received public acknowledgement for our weight loss on national t.v. and won a very cool prize. (You might make sure to set your dvr on May 10.) Afterwards, we had a 2 HOUR private session with Bob Greene, and we didn't pay him diddly! 2 HOURS! (In case you need a little more of a hint: It's the much anticipated Weight Loss Finale of a very famous talk show that is in it's last season and is filmed in Chicago. *wink*)
I'm so impressed with the generosity of spirit and time that was bestowed upon us, let alone expertise. We didn't deserve it. We probably took advantage of them and we dang sure didn't pay them. These people all of them, but particularly the 3 I mentioned early on, at the very least deserve a public thanks.
THANK YOU, JANIS, MICHELLE AND JEN. YOU ROCK!!!
Friday, April 22, 2011
Some Things Take Time
We live in a fast-paced, over achieving, git 'r done kind of world. We have demands on us and our time sun up to sundown, day in and day out. Sundays (or Saturdays) are no longer days of rest, but rather another day for chores, kids' ball games, shopping and such. Furthermore, free time is oft viewed as a scandalous indulgence. Guilt is piled on the one who takes time for naps or simply doesn't run at breakneck speed at all times. It's exhausting trying to keep up.
I'm here to tell you and truth be told, simply ponder the fact that some things take time. Homemade bread for example. Knitting a sweater (not that I would know). War and Peace (again, ignorant on this one). Making a quilt (this one I can speak to - started one 20 years ago and it's still not done). Some things just can't be rushed.
I'm at a time in my life where I have time on my hands. Time to sit. Time to ponder. Time to write a blog. (Please don't mention that I could be knitting or QUILTING.) And, since I live on a lake, that time offers the opportunity for some of life's very special moments. There are things that I'm able to enjoy ONLY if I sit still outside with nothing to read (or knit):
It's good.
I'm here to tell you and truth be told, simply ponder the fact that some things take time. Homemade bread for example. Knitting a sweater (not that I would know). War and Peace (again, ignorant on this one). Making a quilt (this one I can speak to - started one 20 years ago and it's still not done). Some things just can't be rushed.
I'm at a time in my life where I have time on my hands. Time to sit. Time to ponder. Time to write a blog. (Please don't mention that I could be knitting or QUILTING.) And, since I live on a lake, that time offers the opportunity for some of life's very special moments. There are things that I'm able to enjoy ONLY if I sit still outside with nothing to read (or knit):
- An otter swim up to the dock
- A goose defending a nest
- A school of gar passing by
- An eagle delivering a catch to his nest
- An eagle shaking off the water from his last dive for prey
- The woodpecker that lands on my dock ladder (that sounds like Flipper)
- The onset of a thunderstorm
- The changing colors of the sky before, during and after sunset
- The planet that shows up first each night
- The appearing of Orion as the sky darkens
- A fish dancing on his tail across the water
- A hawk w/ a fish, mouse, snake in tow
- The sound of hail on a lake a mile away making its way toward me
- The fragrance of the latest blooms
- The sound of a chuck's poor widow
- The first firefly of the season
- The difference between one sunset and another
- The sound of a silent night
It's good.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Marriage Part 2
I have to tell you that I have very little memory of this day 28 years ago. 28 years ago yesterday, I remember quite clearly. 28 years ago tomorrow is well-etched on my brain. But 28 years ago today - nope, hardly a thing. I remember what I wore to dinner. I remember where I had dinner and I remember most of who was at dinner. I remember 1 thing I said and I remember what I ate. I also remember a particular nice thing one man did. That's about it.
The event 28 years ago today was the day before my one and God-willing, only, wedding day. We had our rehearsal dinner at The Plantation Inn at Stone Mountain Park, Ga. We ate ham, butter beans, and sweet potatoes - probably something else, but I don't remember. I wore a beautiful dress of my grandmother's because it was so beautiful and I didn't think I'd find anything as beautiful to wear. Most of my close family (the Taylors/Worleys) were there as well as a large number of Redmonds. Martha Jean and Louie Giglio, Sr (parents of the now famous, Louie Giglio, Jr) more or less hosted the event and when I looked out at the crowd I said something like "Wow, all together that's a pretty good looking family." Some anonymous person had made beautiful placards for each person and when I realized I'd forgotten my friend and pianist, one miraculously appeared. Thank you Louie Giglio, Sr. That pretty much encapsulates what I remember about the day before my wedding.
Two days before I remember getting a horrible perm at Davison's and my wedding day was really quite wonderful. So much of it was a blur that I often dream of doing it again, just so I can enjoy it more. Isn't that funny?
One particular scene that is etched in my brain, that I have gone back to time and time again is a discussion that I had with my then 7 year old sister. We were sitting in my mother's room, just the 2 of us, and she said, "Sissy, what if you and Andy get divorced." I looked her in the eye and said "Leslie, Andy and I don't believe in divorce. We've already decided that we won't." Wow. I was all of 21, almost 22 years of age and spoke with great wisdom. Ha! I might have been speaking very naively, for I thought that was all there was to it. Truth was, I could not imagine that anything at any time could make the 2 of us or even 1 of us want a divorce.
28 years later, I can tell you though, that one sentence spoken in such innocence might be just the thing that saved our marriage here and there. The truth is, I'm not always an easy person to be married to. I have baggage, shall we say. Deep hurts and scars and at times have let those wounds bleed profusely all over anyone who was around. I have no idea if my husband has ever truly wanted to leave me, but I can tell you this, it's a fair miracle that he's stayed and a great testimony to the kind of man he is. But even in my darkest of hours, I remember telling my precious little sister, not to mention the man of my dreams and 150 people and GOD that I would not leave this man or give him a reason to leave me.
The conversation I had with my sister was absolutely true. As we prepared to marry, we had a long discussion over the big stuff. Finances, kids, family, leaving and cleaving, head of the household, views on tradition, God and yes, divorce. He had told me he could never marry anyone he could conceive divorcing. We made a commitment to each other that we would ride out whatever thing came our way and no matter what, we would not divorce. Our marriage has never faced the trial of infidelity and I honestly don't know what we would do, but I pray we would stand by our commitment. Of course, we also committed that we would not engage in infidelity or even test the waters.
We took that commitment to each other to heart and we publicly made that commitment to God before our friends and family. We have known rough patches. I have a nasty, ugly temper that only by the grace of God stays in check. We have weathered moves, the raising of children, challenging environments, and some poor decisions of our own. On the flip side, we have surrounded ourselves with people who value marriage and support each other in their respective marriages and encourage each other. We've continued to grow in our faith and commitment to God. We've shown patience to one another in trying situations. We've held that commitment high as a light to guide us through the more difficult passages. Now we stand on the eve of our 28th wedding anniversary and more in love than ever.
The course of our 28 years has been easier than so many others that I know. We began our relationship by becoming fast friends. A year into our friendship, we fell in love and married soon after. We have devoted our lives to continuing to grow in that friendship. We coddle it and nurture it. . . cultivate it. We make time for each other no matter the stresses in our lives. Our kids know they are not, nor ever have been the center of our home life, though we totally adore them. We've prioritized each other. As a result, we face this anniversary as great friends who know how to have a good time whether anyone else is there or not. We pray fiercely that this example is one our kids will build on in their futures and we do not take for granted the gift of a long marriage. We very well know that temptation in many forms lurks on the edge and we've watched what we presumed were good marriages fail.
So - what tips do I have for you?
1. Find your completion in Christ.
2. Banish husband/wife bashing.
3. Work on yourself.
4. Look for things that you love in your husband/wife and tell him.
5. Revisit the commitment you made.
6. Cultivate forgiveness and patience.
7. Keep the couple the central part of the "family" (after God of course).
8. Build your friendship with your spouse.
9. Be the spouse you should/can be.
10. Enjoy your marriage.
Today I give great thanks to Jesus Christ who is the glue that holds us all together. My true happiness and joy is found in Him and hopefully that spills over onto this wonderful man who's been willing to stick with me through the years. I feel incredibly blessed and I pray that somewhere in this nostalgic moment is some little nugget that you can take for your own to encourage you along the way.
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| T.J. surveying the spread |
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| Martha Jeane Giglio, Alice Redmond, Louie Giglio, Sr, Allen Redmond |
Two days before I remember getting a horrible perm at Davison's and my wedding day was really quite wonderful. So much of it was a blur that I often dream of doing it again, just so I can enjoy it more. Isn't that funny?
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| Nano, Leslie (my sis), me |
28 years later, I can tell you though, that one sentence spoken in such innocence might be just the thing that saved our marriage here and there. The truth is, I'm not always an easy person to be married to. I have baggage, shall we say. Deep hurts and scars and at times have let those wounds bleed profusely all over anyone who was around. I have no idea if my husband has ever truly wanted to leave me, but I can tell you this, it's a fair miracle that he's stayed and a great testimony to the kind of man he is. But even in my darkest of hours, I remember telling my precious little sister, not to mention the man of my dreams and 150 people and GOD that I would not leave this man or give him a reason to leave me.
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| The first weekend we knew we were in love |
The conversation I had with my sister was absolutely true. As we prepared to marry, we had a long discussion over the big stuff. Finances, kids, family, leaving and cleaving, head of the household, views on tradition, God and yes, divorce. He had told me he could never marry anyone he could conceive divorcing. We made a commitment to each other that we would ride out whatever thing came our way and no matter what, we would not divorce. Our marriage has never faced the trial of infidelity and I honestly don't know what we would do, but I pray we would stand by our commitment. Of course, we also committed that we would not engage in infidelity or even test the waters.
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| I think Daddy's more nervous than I am! |
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| The happy couple |
So - what tips do I have for you?
1. Find your completion in Christ.
2. Banish husband/wife bashing.
3. Work on yourself.
4. Look for things that you love in your husband/wife and tell him.
5. Revisit the commitment you made.
6. Cultivate forgiveness and patience.
7. Keep the couple the central part of the "family" (after God of course).
8. Build your friendship with your spouse.
9. Be the spouse you should/can be.
10. Enjoy your marriage.
Today I give great thanks to Jesus Christ who is the glue that holds us all together. My true happiness and joy is found in Him and hopefully that spills over onto this wonderful man who's been willing to stick with me through the years. I feel incredibly blessed and I pray that somewhere in this nostalgic moment is some little nugget that you can take for your own to encourage you along the way.
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